I was wrong.

I’ve realized where I was wrong. You can only build a path as far as you have already walked. It won’t get longer until you proceed. I thought the path I built was a sure thing. That I could follow it as far as a wanted. But I guess that is the thing about life; you can plan, you can build yourself a nice safe trail that will lead right to your goal, but in the end, that path could collapse, the plan could tumble. Before you are ready to step off the path, it can throw you off. Decide it doesn’t want you anymore. Toss you into a fast flowing river prepared to push you around, shove your face on rocks, and spit you out onto shore wherever it sees fit.

I thought I could build myself a path, and that I was allowed to stay on it as long as I wanted. And that when I was ready, I’d create a new path, and the old trail would send me off with a few falling leaves and a nice sunset. Lucky for me I had stepped off the path for a bit. I was hanging out in an intersection, perhaps. I could go straight and continue on my path. I could turn left, and head for Montana. I could have even turned right, and stayed in the good ‘ol CO.

Then out of nowhere, while I was in this intersection, the path ahead of me crumbled. I could no longer afford to go straight, even if I wanted to.

It was strange. Just minutes before the path ahead collapsed, I had been toeing its line. About to put weight onto my foot. About to choose Western. Will I regret it, mom, if I go to Western? Would you be disappointed if I chose not to play soccer? Would I be disappointed? She answered them all with a NO. And then just before I planted my foot, the trail crumbled in front of me. Beautiful Bellingham sailed away, the perfect roommate waved goodbye. DANGER, DO NOT PASS replaced the This Way To Safety signs.

At least I wasn’t on the path when it crumbled. At least I have somewhere else to go. What if I hadn’t stepped off the path? Would I be tumbling through rapids right now, with nowhere to go? I would be a wreck. A lost, desperate, wreck, with nowhere to go. Fortunately, something told me to look away from the way I thought my life would go. Picking which path was stressful, hard, and exciting. But it looks like the universe picked for me. My mommy taught me to trust the universe, so I will. I sure hope it made a good choice.